Celery growers are thrilled. The vegetable is selling like hot cakes. There have been runs on celery before, usually coinciding with the appearance of some article claiming that it provides “negative calories.” That bit of nonsense, however, is nothing compared with the truckload of detritus that is being dumped on consumers by promoters of celery juice who claim that it is a veritable cure-all. The “brains” behind this puffery, and the man responsible for the boost in celery sales is Anthony William, who calls himself the “Medical Medium.”William freely admits that he has no medical education of any kind, but then again, he doesn’t need any. That’s because he gets his information from an all-knowing spirit, who somewhat unimaginatively is actually called “Spirit” and speaks to William in a clear voice that only he can hear. Let’s let William tell the story himself, as he does in his book, Medical Medium.“My story begins when I’m four years old. As I’m waking up one morning, I hear an elderly man speaking. He says, ‘I am the Spirit of the Most High, there is no spirit above me but God.’ Later that evening I suddenly see a strange man standing behind my grandmother. He has gray hair and a gray beard and is wearing a brown robe. When none of my family reacts to his presence, I slowly realize that I’m the only one who sees him. He says, ‘I am here for you.’ Then the gray man looks at me, ‘now say, Grandma has lung cancer.’”William then recounts how his grandmother was shaken by this bit of information coming from a four-year-old, and even though she felt fine, she made an appointment for a general checkup. A chest X-ray revealed that she had lung cancer! And so, with the help of a man that only he sees, speaking with a voice that only he hears, at the young age of four, a career as a medium with a talent for diagnosing and treating disease was forged.When you open Medical Medium, you can feast your eyes on the first sentence. “In this book, I reveal truths you won’t learn anywhere else. You won’t hear them from your doctor, read them in other books, or find them on the web.” I think that is true. The reason we don’t hear of the “truths” elsewhere is because Spirit has “insights into health that are decades ahead of what is known by medical communities.”Spirit also teaches William to perform diagnostic body scans. His training is in cemeteries. “I spent years in different cemeteries performing this exercise with hundreds of corpses. I became so good at it that I can almost instantly sense if someone’s died of a heart attack, stroke, cancer, liver disease, car accident, suicide or murder.” Quite a gift. Although it seems the technique may need a bit of work, judging by William giving an “all clear” diagnosis to a TV host who was soon after diagnosed with malignant myeloma. William doesn’t need to be in the same room with a person to do a reading, he can do it by phone as he demonstrates on his radio show. He asks callers for their symptoms, and then diagnoses them, usually as suffering from an infection by the Epstein-Barr virus, and prescribes a treatment, which often is 16 ounces of celery juice. Some would call this practicing medicine without a licence.Indigestion, we are told, is a problem because the six components of hydrochloric acid in the stomach (a ludicrous notion) don’t work well together. Celery juice works its magic because it contains “unique sodium compositions.” Spirit seems to be in need of a chemistry lesson.William also sees angels. There are 21 essential angels, he tells us, and they can be called upon for help, but the call must be out loud and the specific angel has to be named. You can call upon the Angel of Purpose if you are struggling with your purpose on earth and you can ask the Angel of Water to change the frequency of the water you bathe in to make it more cleansing, nourishing and grounding.And if the angels aren’t up to the task, you can listen to birds since they “sing the song of the angels and can mend fractured souls and reverse disease.” How does that happen? “The frequency of these melodies resonates deep within our DNA, which allows it to reconstruct the body on a cell level.”If you are not keen on listening to birds, there’s always celery juice. You can squeeze it yourself or buy it on Amazon for $16.95 for 200 mL. That works out to about $40 per day if you follow William’s protocol. Or you can buy celery juice powder for $165 for 500 grams. The packaging says “contents may do you good.” Or they may email@example.comJoe Schwarcz is director of McGill University’s Office for Science & Society (mcgill.ca/oss). He hosts The Dr. Joe Show on CJAD Radio 800 AM every Sunday from 3 to 4 p.m.