The city pretending to control dandelions — faking it; paying lip service to the annual spring invasion of the flowering weeds — is nothing new.For more than a decade now, administration has done all it can to do as little as possible to halt the Yellow Peril.In 2015, city bureaucrats went as far as to strike dandelions from their list of nuisance weeds. Presto-chango! If the dandelion is no longer defined as a weed, the city no longer has an obligation to kill and control them.It’s partly a budget thing. It costs money for enough herbicide to spray every soccer field, public park, roadside and traffic island.But above all, it’s a “green” thing. Like a lot of eco-sensitive policymakers, city bureaucrats think spraying dandelions (and mosquitos, for that matter) is anti-environmental.To their way of thinking, dandelions are natural; well-manicured, green lawns are not. Four years ago, the then-head of the city neighbourhood maintenance branch even insisted dandelions “have a right to be.”One of the reasons the city spends so much time and energy each year pushing “natural yards” is administration’s and council’s belief that grass is evil. Among other reasons (in their minds), homeowners add climate-changing emissions whenever they cut with gas-powered mowers. Much better for the planet to cover your yard with bark chips, native shrubs and tall, tufted grass.Then there is the hysteria — not just among bureaucrats and politicians, but some overwrought residents, too —that herbicides present a significant long-term health risk, even though most modern herbicides have been made so safe as to be almost useless in the fight against weeds.Even skinny houses get in the mix.I’m not saying the city favours the lot-consuming monstrosities because its goal is to do away with lawns. However, the over-tall, sun-blocking houses (that look like boxes real homes come in) coincidentally make private green space all but impossible.Skinny houses are another part of the we-hate-your-yard mentality that prevails down at city hall, part of the effort to re-engineer our city out of its love of lawns.All of this dandelions-have-rights-too posturing within the city is having consequences for the rest of us, though. Not only are city fields and green spaces becoming increasingly chocked with tufts of dandelion leaves where there used to be grass, but because the city won’t spray the weeds with potent-enough herbicides and because it can’t keep up with the frequent mowing schedule required to keep the weeds trimmed, too many dandelions go to seed. The seeds are then carried by the wind to private yards.A lawncare company owner I talked with (who asked not to be named because he fears losing his contracts with the city) said his workers have noticed a significant increase in dandelions and other weeds in private lawns because the city’s “green” strategy is leading to a spread of nuisance plants citywide.(And I’m guessing the same “green” thinking regarding pesticides is why we’re getting eaten alive in the evenings.)So here’s a novel suggestion: Just kill the dandelions.The chelated iron herbicide the city is using now is of very limited benefit, largely because it is a plant nutrient first and a weed killer a very distant second.Also, stop suggesting it would be better if I used a weed-pulling tool than a spray. Not going to happen. I’m not going to waste my spare time that way.And stop trying to convince me I need a fake dry riverbed running through my front yard, rather than nicely trimmed fescue. Most natural yards are no less artificial than my lawn.Just suck it up, eco-extremists and health nannies, and kill the weeds.